Thursday, September 17, 2009

divas, really!? the term is used loosely in this case...


i hope you didn't watch vh1's divas without the aid of the fast forward button because if you did, boy am i sorry. thank god i could zoom through every second of paula abdul, bitch is crazy! the divas, first off, should have been called divettes, they were all under 28 and miley cyrus isn't even legal...or talented. it was painful! yes, jennifer hudson, leona lewis, kelly clarkson, and adele can saaaaang! really sang! but unfortunately they all choose the most terribly boring songs, songs that i love, but come on that is not what the good folks at home are wasting 2 hours to hear. kelly was by far the best solo, girl just does her music proud every time she sings live. now you can hate me for saying this, but my dear kells needs to drop a few. i like her thick, really i do, but even bo was like "wow, that's a different person." the duets were just a smidgen better, probably because they were all super cool guests...i loved adele and india.ari, who i have always loved. poor sheryl crow having to be that close to miley cyrus whilest she sings. don't get me wrong i love me some hannah montana, but that voice sounds like a freaking cartoon character, nails on a chalkboard. stevie wonder and jennifer hudson were nice and i thought cyndi lauper and leona were fabu. i think kelly sounded good singing with my girl melissa etheridge, but i couldn't really tell because the music was so stinking loud, i can still barely think. oh, i totally forgot about jordin sparks, eh...

i am just shocked how choppy it seemed, there was no cohesion and where were the duets between the divas? where were the girl power anthems? where were the remixes of our fave rock songs a la american idol? seriously, the best parts were when the children's choir did remixes of chasing pavements and bleeding love, A-mazing!

ah, fashion...there wasn't much. the performance outfits were all large, fluffy, and for the most part sorta pretty. the diva's didn't do so great on the red carpet either...
my best dressed goes to whitney port, who is a fashion designer/reality star...that is just all the rage nowadays, huh? well, she totally rocked it out. i love the black lace over nude sheath and for some extra fun, that adorable sparkly sleeve. perfection!
i love this dress!!!! lauren conrad is yet another fashion designer/ reality star...i love all of the sparkles, the black and twinge of green. hot! the satin peeptoe pump. so cute. h&m has a similar dress for 50 dollars, must have.

is she performing a burlesque show? should we alert billy ray? i think i like it from the waist up and i don't think i would mind the front if we could tear off those horrid fishnets...i don't know this just isn't great...the back is pretty...eh.
is leona going to sing? or perform as the local pastel fairy bar wench? yikes!!!! she is such a pretty girl with such a beautiful curvy body and this is just ugly!!! ugly, ugly!!!!!
this might not be so bad, i can't find a full body picture, i like that it gives kelly a defined waist. i would have to see the rest...i like the dark hair. i wish i could have red hair. hmph.
and then there's jordin sparks, who looks nice...for a 43 year old!!! what is up with this? she is 19!!! she looks like eva longoria parker's older sister...far too pretty and young to look this blah.
this wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't wearing these terrible boots, eh, they make her legs look like tree trunks...not cute. i really like the dress and absolutely think that her boobs could have replaced miley cyrus and jordin sparks as divas.
i love this girl and i get that this is her schtick, but she could go a little farther and take it out of boring territory. but i really couldn't care less because she is fabulous!!!!

1 comment:

  1. miley cyrus's dress: if a mullet were a dress . . .
    also, jennifer hudson looks really uncomfortable in her dress.

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