Monday, July 26, 2010

um, you look a hot damn mess... didn't you know?!

as we all know the world must correct itself... balance. so for every beautiful dress i post, there are 4-5 absolutely ghastly ensembles. i keep a folder buried deep in my inspiration files where i can go and have a giggle when i am feeling particularly bitter or pms-y. i thought i should clear that folder out. so it's time i share with you some of the bad i've collected over the past few months. it's not all horrific, but it's definitely the opposite of good.
um... someone needs to tell aladdin here that her tots are completely hanging. i'm all for high style and there are definitely parts of this preen look that i could dig, but overall. no thank you. the deep rectangle is not flattering on blake "linebacker shoulders" lively. i can't tell if it's the high waist or top, but she looks squat and this chick is a giant. plus, her boobs are just ridiculous. it's a shame, i like her.
she looks like she is going to a funeral! what died? i'll tell you, fashion did! this gustavo cadile is just ugly. you are some kind of special if you make eva longoria look like a grandma. she's so petite that these puffy sleeves are just too overwhelming for her tiny frame! her makeup, as always, is perfect. but this look is just not fabulous.
ashley greene is super hot, but i am a little confused by this bill blass gown. mostly because it's so dreadfully boring that i can't even stand it. plus, i am NOT loving her new longer white girl hair. i prefer her with darker strands. she needs to go shopping with dakota fanning, kristen stewart, or nikki reed... they all understand personal style. i feel like alice cullen relies heavily on her hotness, which i suppose i would do to if i was that hot, but i feel like she is yet to develop a real grown-up style. 
um. i love rodarte. i love mia. together... um... something is off, right!? i feel like the little lace pieces over her bosoms is just throwing it off. she looks like a 10 year old boy. i think that's the problem. i think?  any thoughts? 
holy lotta look batman. whoa. lea michele is beautiful and glee is brilliant, but this etro disaster is just completely overwhelming. add lots of hair and it's even more overbearing. the dress also seems waaaaay too big for her. the sleeves need to be taken in big time! this just looks sloppy. rachel berry would be appalled. 
oh my grossness. what is this!? holy lord this is ugly. it's no secret that i find kathryn heigl to be a repulsive human being. no, i don't know her personally... so i know that's a bit harsh, but in all the years that i have been reading fashion magazines and paying attention to the entertainment industry, i have NEVER seen an actress so blatantly rude, defensive, self-important... that's probably enough. she bites the hand that feeds and that bothers me. a lot. rude. despite my utter distain for her this look is disgust. the cut of the gown plus the stripes makes her look crazy wide. and the neckline is beyond unflattering for her tatas. the necklace is super dated and the hair is just... did she forget to do her hair? fail. 
WHOA! BOOBIES! what is this!?!? dear lord! i love me some fergie ferg, but this dress confuses me. between the choppy color blocking, the poor fit on the boobs, and that tail, i don't know what's the worst part! the shoes are kinda cute. 
are we filming a 4th matrix film? victoria beckham does what she pleases, but this look is just way out of my cool zone. the brian atwood boots look like 1991 threw up on her ridiculously teeny legs. plus, the robot giles dress is just too much. her hair and makeup are fierce though. 
maybe she's going to a baby shower... in the country... in 1995.... nothing about this ensemble looks modern. add her "retro" hair and it definitely just does not work. at least she's not wearing those herman munster shoes that were oh so popular back in the day...

so, that was just a little bit of harmless fun at the expense of rich celebrities who should know better than to wear ugly things! so whatcha think? am i so right? so wrong? so mean? boo. friggin. hoo.

13 comments:

  1. Lol, these are pretty horrendous! Thje puffy sleeves on Eva don't look flattering at all and the dress Mia is wearing is just plain wrong.

    But, lol, nothing compares to the Katherine Heigl dress!! Why would anyone wear that, lol.

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  2. a post that made me smile x

    www.pinstripeprince.blogspot.com

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  3. Haha, I do agree that most of these outfits are a bit atrocious. Although I think you were slightly too harsh in the words you used to describe them! :P

    Leia

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  5. Eek eek. I love Blake's pants actually, but the tan and the major boobage is way to much!

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  6. haha i agree with 95% of what youve said here, and this post has really made me laugh. i adore you for pointing out the fact that celebrities can infact go terribly wrong with their wardrobes, alot of people glorify anything a celebrity wears as if theyre breaking down fashion boundaries when sometimes what theyre wearing is just plain terrible! (wouldnt want you to analyse me though! ha)

    great post xx

    www.shutterbug-z.blogspot.com

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  7. haha i agree with 95% of what youve said here, and this post has really made me laugh. i adore you for pointing out the fact that celebrities can infact go terribly wrong with their wardrobes, alot of people glorify anything a celebrity wears as if theyre breaking down fashion boundaries when sometimes what theyre wearing is just plain terrible! (wouldnt want you to analyse me though! ha)

    great post xx

    www.shutterbug-z.blogspot.com

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  8. hahha hilariouss post! Katy perry and Katharine are definitely the worst offenders. both are very grandma-ish! xx

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  9. ok, dear blake lively - aladdin did call and he wants his pants back. also, your nips are almost showing.

    i personally think fergie looks like a tranny. that dark hair color does nothing for her. seriously. nothing.

    lea michelle is consistant. consistently horrific on the red carpet. someone needs a new stylist.

    katy parry is a freak. end of story.

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  10. Haha I agree with you on all of them - these were pretty bad choices (at least their stylist's!) But I think Katy Perry's outfit suits her since that's usually her look lol.

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  11. Haha how did some of them manage to get out of the house? Don't they know that a hall-way mirror is a must?! ;) I totally agree with what you said about Mia in Rodarte and I think it's both the lace that doesn't accentuate any curves and also the PALE colour that the poor girl is becoming all over due to the light material at the top. She needs some colour in there...she could always dye her hair?! Great blog by the way! I will be following!
    City Girl x
    ps perhaps you could check out mine & follow if you like? :)

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  12. Omg. These ensembles are appalling. And you're hilarious, as always. I always look forward to these posts because your wit is just unmatched by any other fashion blogger. ;)

    I hope you're having a great weekend! xo

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  13. those shoes in the first picture i want them!!!
    i have been seeing them everywhere :D
    ya working in boutique its really sad to see how many people who just cant dress themselves. these celebrities should stick to real stylists, any one of us bloggers will do! * heheh giggle :) *

    www.fashionprovocateur.wordpress.com/

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