Sunday, February 27, 2011

it's the freaking catalina wine mixer... i mean the 2011 oscars...

hooray, hooray, hooray. it's the freaking oscars!!!! omg. it's like my super bowl. for reals, i had hor d'oeuvres, wine, cupcakes, champagne. it's like... the best night ever ;) okay, maybe not, but it's pretty genius. all of hollywood celebrating ah-mazing films and ah-mazing fashion. my 2 favorite things in the world. sigh. the fashion was very neutral with very few hot damn messes. the colors of the night, in my expert opinion, were lavender, red, and icy pale shades of white. fashion was kept very low key, minimal... dare i say boring. well, here are the best and the worst. enjoy. 
collective sigh. perfection. ohmylordy. just sheer perfection. michelle williams is like the perfect pixie, fairy, modern day audrey hepburn. now, i don't take comparisons to audrey lightly. at all. she's the queen of all things classy and style. whoa tangent. back to the glorious michelle in a chanel gown, she's just perfect. the gown is simple but so interesting. her icy blonde hair, strong brow, and pink lip. genius. all genius. obviously she's my favorite.
so, meg griffin is a totally hottie. wowzas. mila kunis. holy hot batman. when i first caught a glimpse of her elie saab i was underwhelmed, but once i saw it move as she walked i was sold. the panels of chiffon give way to these panels of sheer lace that are just uber sexy. i love the lack of jewels. she looks like a real, grown up actress. i think it's beautiful.
say you had a terrible, no good, jack ass husband who destroyed your marriage after last years oscars... i'm thinking this is how you say "eff you" to the son-of-a-bitch. sandy bullock is brilliant in this vera wang. i think she looks outstanding. the orange- red color is stunning paired with her pale skin and dark hair. i think she just looks beautiful. personally, i like this better than her winning gown. sorry. don't throw things. she looks ah-mazing.
geez louise, jennifer hudson is a babe. a super hot babe. i am loving the color of this gown. so bold, so sexy. is anyone else surprised that this is a versace... it's so classy. i love the jewels, oh so very much. the hair is a bit wonky, but because she is that hot now... i don't care. you rock jennifer! 
another babe!!! a crazy pregnant babe. natalie portman is stunning and absolutely radiant in her rodarte gown. the color is superb on her skin. i love the tassel earring, but i'm slightly disappointed that they are so matchy. she really does look beautiful. the gown is perfect for her growing belly... hmm... well... truth be told, she looks great, but i feel like i was hoping for more... but she is beautiful and she deserved that oscar!!! she was brilliant. 
people tell me i look like anne hathaway... a lot. but i have to say it's photos like these where i want to tell people you are smoking crack!!! she is stunning. i mean her skin is flawless, her lips and eyes are insanely large, and she's just beautiful!! i absolutely loved this valentino on her. it was slimming and lengthening. she did a brilliant job hosting, i mean, is there anything that she can't do!?!? answer. no. she's super woman in a ball gown. all of her hosting looks rocked my socks. loved the fringey one, the red one, the white corseted one... they were all beautiful. love. annie. hathaway.
hilary swank is rocking this gucci dress. truly. she looks so feminine and sexy. and i think that she has a tendency to look boyish, but this is just decadent and girly. i adore her little up do. it's hard to see how pretty it is from these angles, but i just admire how she seems to try and really go out of her fashion comfort zones. i dig it.
it's hard to say something bad about this monique lhuillier gown. mandy moore looks like such a lady. everything is perfectly put into place. almost too perfectly put into place. i mean, she's 26 this just seems a bit old. i think that the gown is beyond perfect, it's sheer done right. i also adore her makeup. the coral lip is out-of-control... my problem is with the middle part, low bun. hello school marm. and with the 1980's dynasty clip on earring. not cool. a messy updo and a funky earring and boom instant perfect. oh-so very close.
now, i am very rarely a fan of halle berry's fashion, mostly cause she stole a well deserved oscar from nicole kidman... yes, i hold a grudge ;) but this marchesa is delightful. she's a beautiful woman and has a rockin bod, but as my mom said, "get a new hair cut!!!"
holy dance cardio batman. gwyneth paltrow is a goddess. a tall, leggy, blonde, tall goddess with insanely long legs. did i mention that she has perfect legs. ugh. she is really just beautiful. i love her bone straight hair, neutral makeup, and i almost love the dress. the thing that keeps me from just adoring this look is the odd little dropped waist beaded thing. so odd. other than that, this calvin klein looks like liquid metal. love.
nicole kidman is slowly getting her face back. i'm so glad she's easing up on the botox. and she's almost a red head!!!!! hooray!!! i adore her simple ponytail. now, i'm gonna get a ton of crap for this, but i am loving this dior. i know it's odd, but i really like it. the necklace is genius. i want. the pink shoes are a bit much, i like it. i don't know why... whatever. attack. 
so who let the crazy bag lady into the oscars!? what the duck is with scarjo's hair. this d&g is just weird. you are supposed to show up to these things post-breakup looking hot. this is just off. i really can't say i take much good away from this look.
what in the dear sweet lord is going on here!? marisa tomei is a strange one on the red carpet, it's either perfect or painstakingly bad. take a gander what this is!?
my mom liked this. i had to disagree. BIG TIME. what the devil is going on here? this is like austin power fembot bad. what's up with the hair!? it's terrible, right? and the dress, help me out here... it's like a strange waiters uniform. this just did so very little for me. it's a shame 'cause i love me some reese. 
ah cate blanchett. this is a tough one. there is a part of me that loves this givenchy, but the rest of me sorta wants to vomit. i can't figure it out. i like part of the gown the waist and skirt is beautiful, but the strong shoulders are just so runway... i don't know... her hair and makeup look stellar, but i don't know it's like she's wearing a freaking lavender suit of armor.
when i saw this i was like, did jennifer lawrence wear her nightgown to the oscars!?!? and then i was like okay, her hair and makeup are pretty. then i was like, oh lord this is practically the same valentino scarjo wore to the golden globes a few years back!?!?! then she said that calvin klein's francisco costa made it just for her. confused!? me too. i'm just super bored with this. been there, done that scarlett has much bigger boobs. 
you know what? hailee steinfeld is like 14 years old. and ya know what? in this marchesa, that she helped design, she looks 14. i love it. if it were on an adult, we would have problems. it's nice to see a kid dress like a kid. if you make fun of her your an ass.
dear amy adams. i do not like this l'wren scott dress. the shape is weird. feels sorta suffocating. the necklace is way yucky with it. a nice pair of earrings would've worked better. the sleeves are super weird. they should be longer. but amy is going to be walking many, many, many more red carpets so she'll make it up to me.
i love that busy phillips was michelle williams date. the met whilest filming dawson creek. love that. i think she looked pretty fabulous. her earrings are lovely.
helen mirren is one sexy dame. mmmmm. so hot. and i love that she can handle her own when paired with one russell brand. who by the way, i am in love with. i think this is a glorious color on her. and the vivienne westwood fits her perfectly. the bodice is genius. the necklace could be way shorter, what's up with that. but she is a rock star. do as you please helen.
hello boobies!!!!! geez oh petes. that's a lotta tot. she like just had a baby. like literally 15 minutes ago. and are you kidding me. she looks beautiful. my womanly intuition says that she was not comfortable in her skin. but this l'wren scott was beautiful, but something was off with her. i could sense it.
egads! what the duck is happening with this valentino!? i know the prairie thing is in, but dude, i believe it's possible to take a trend too literally, this would totally be that situation. no bueno.
oh dear. melissa leo. melissa. melissa. melissa. oh geez. wow. geez. this is a custom marc boward. and well, the neckline is lovely and her hair/makeup are stunning. annnnnnnd yeah, that's the only nice thing i could say about this look. so bad. well it's a good thing that she is a killer great actress. congrats melissa!
someone got a little too black swan happy. ummmm. this romona keveza is so not good. why is virginia madsen at the oscars... holy crap is it 2004?
helena bonham carter is a crazed lunatic. a genius, fabulous crazed lunatic. she is just brilliant. this colleen atwood costume is just so not great... BUT. but. as far as hbc goes this is mild. her hair is insane, but looks polished. her makeup looks brilliant... professional. i think that this is a small success.

so, there we have it folks! the oscars!!! yay!!!! so, here's the fun part!!! whatcha think!?!? did i get it all right!? or did i get it all wrong!? who was your favorite of the evening? and who missed the mark!?!? go ahead comment, it's fun. and keep reading this week for a chance to enter a super fun giveaway. i mean come on, it's super fun!!!


  1. you do look like anne hathaway....dare we put you in her gown am sure you'd rock in it!

  2. 1. i am an "ass"... the 14 yr. old makes me want to scream. Can i have some back up on this B???

    2. How i was left out of the Moore post baffles me.

    3. Moving on...Mila was my pick for best dressed.
    loves GP TOO.

    4. Lo, i just realized that I am your miss phillips.

    5. moving on...again.....
    marisa: oh sweet Lord what happened?
    florence: where is paw???
    penelope: gorgeous.
    natalie: love that dress. wrong wrong color. (it doesnt pop of the carpet)

    6. Lo what if you followed this post up with an all time best/worst dressed list for the oscars.
    lord knows it would be hilarious!!

    7. on a personal note...i missed my flight and cant stop crying. call me when you wake up.


  3. So many gorgeous dresses last night! And only a few horrible ones, haha...that's what I like to see :)

  4. We are SO on the same page! Michelle Williams and Mila Kunis had perfect gowns. Penelope Cruz makes us mere mortals feel bad about ourselves.

  5. Thanks for stopping by my blog, dear.

    Love your blog as well. Now following. Look forward to hearing and seeing more of you.

    Michelle is gorgeous in that photo. Love her haircut.

    Love, always.
    Karoline Kalvo

  6. Ha ha, I loved this! I thought Halle Berry, Michelle Williams and Hilary Swank looked amazing. Jennifer Hudson's boobs really bothered me. I think it was the discoloration of them. Jennifer Lawrence looked stunning except the dress reminded me of a Baywatch swimsuit. ; )

  7. Hilarious synopsis once again! Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis were my favs for the night. Jennifer Lawrence I thought looked just bombshell sexy, which is cool since she did not look like that in her film! Michelle Williams was adorable as usual. Cutest mommy everr.

  8. What can I say....GORGEOUS!

  9. Great overview!! You hit the nail on all of these. My favorites of the night were Anne Hathaway (in EVERYTHING), Mila, Natalie, and Halle.

    I was slightly horrified by Cate Blanchett and Reese looked like a waitress for a catering company. :S

    I was wondering what Busy was doing at the Oscars! That's awesome she was Michelle's date. I thought she was just there to support her former Freaks & Geeks costar James Franco or something. Lol.

    What did you think of the cohosts?? I personally thought Anne would have done a better job hosting alone or with a comedian like Billy Crystal. James looked like he didn't even care about being there. :S

  10. beautiful!


  11. Love your best dressed picks but wish Marisa Tomei was on there! Charles James was one of the best courtiers of the 20th century and that dress is AMAZING. xo style, she wrote

  12. Natalie Portman, Scarlette and Anne are my favorites! great post!!

  13. Haha I loved reading your commentary; my fave was definitely Hilary Swank and the dark red strapless gown Anne changed into.

  14. ok so i agree with 95% of your best dressed picks. also though jen lawrence looked very regular, but hailee steinfeld was so appropriate. loved that she helped with the marchesa design.

  15. Anne Hathaway looked so beautiful !! xx,Kinga. PS Thank you for your lovely comment !

  16. Anne Hathaway is so stunning. And I'm hardcore obsessed with Mandy Moore's dress; it's so filmy and gorgeous. And Hailee Steinfeld... So cute!
    xo Josie

  17. Hailee's look was perfect!


  18. I did not wath the Academy Awards. Did not care about it this year. Most women were nicely dress but as always, there is always a few that need the fashion police to arrest them. J-hud is guilty and that carter actress is not doing it for me. What were they thinking?

  19. I agree with you, your opinions on each dress are almost like mine, especially with Scarlett Johanson. The dress was irrational and her hair would've looked way better if it was longer. It just looked like she got electrically shocked and her hair just hung in place.

    Lubna | Elle Vox

  20. ummmm i want to be scarlett J's cloan ... who can make that happen? Bueller?

  21. Hailee was so so adorable! I loved her dress. :)
    But Mila was my favorite!

    <3Chelsea Elizabeth

  22. Loved reading your commentary. All the girls were looking fabulous!


  23. I want to take Mila Kunis home with me.
    Amy Adams' necklace ruined her whole look.
    Helen Mirren is a hot old woman.
    Sandra Bullock's dress did not fit her properly.
    Cate Blanchett's dress was the worst thing ever.
    Penelope Cruz is always hot.

    I can go on forever.
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  24. sandra looked stunning!!!

    xoxo form rome

  25. I LOVED Hilary Swank's dress, it was downright stunning.



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