Sunday, September 18, 2011

oh sweet emmy-time...

i love nothing more than making fun of bad celebrity outfits... unfortunately, there weren't that many awful ones at tonight's 63rd emmy awards. don't worry there were enough. the color trends were pretty simple. reds and white with sparkle. elie saab was probably the most successful designer of the evening. a few folks tried to step out of the fashion trend box, ahem-- claire and gwyneth... not so awesome. the show was pretty entertaining. loved jane lynch. soooo happy for all of the modern family cast!!!! i mean, seriously, the funniest show in the history of television. genius. and for funsies, i gave you a lil' pic of my favorite vampire diaries boy, ian somerhalder in armani. he's cute. alright, here we go people... keep reading past the break for the fun to begin...





now maybe i just love julia stiles because of the last season of dexter. omg. she was brilliant. love. love. love. i really hope that she comes back one day... dexter needs her. yes, i'm still talking about dexter. okay. i'm sorry. the dress, the dress. it's a beautiful georges hobeika. i just love this. it's very simple but the fit is absolutely genius. i love how easy her hair and makeup are. then the dark nail... she just looks like an absolutely beautiful woman. this is probably my favorite of the night.
hooray, i actually like what christina hendricks is wearing!!!!!!! this johanna johansson gown fits her curves beautifully!!!! like come on! this chick is so hot and i adore when she wears gowns that show off her amazing curves without going over the top with ruffles and whatnot. i love her hair in a modern take on the retro pin curl thing... and the orange-red lip, shut up. absolutely love her. although i am seeing her a little differently after watching drive. ew. yuck. wowza. never thought i'd see that much of her brain...
yes. yes. yes. this is brilliant. sophia vergara rocking a beautiful vera wang dress and looking flawless! the shape and color are just fabulous. the earrings are magnificent. this is pretty much perfect. the only thing i'd change is her lip color, it's almost exactly her dress color. no bueno sophia.
how fabulous is heidi klum!?!? she's rocking a christian siriano gown. i think mrs. seal is one of those ladies that could wear a paper bag dress and look stunning... bitch. i love the ruby earrings with the taupe gown. she's perfect. 
um hello gorgeous. evan rachel wood is so beautiful and this elie saab gown is just stunning. i know it's black, but she was one of the few rocking black on the carpet. i love it. she just looks glamourous and beautiful. so timeless. i miss queen sophie ann on true blood :(
wowza. whatever kate winslet is doing i wanna know. i mean, is she actually just getting hotter and hotter in front of our eyes? i would love to know who her face doctors are... i mean, right!?!? she's rocking elie saab too. it's simple but fits her so well, ah-mazing tailoring. she looks so sexy. love her. love this look.
maybe i am just super boring this evening, but this gown makes me so very happy. naya rivera is beautiful and i adore that she went with a sophisticated gown... she tends to go trashy... not this time. wow. what a beautiful woman. i am absolutely in love with this look. the architectural detailing is brilliant. i want this gown for the marine corps ball. obsessed.
so, is katie holmes going to a beach part or the emmys? confused. but at the same time... i sort of like it. she's super underdressed for the occasion but she looks pretty and put together which is more than i can say for some of these ladies. oh just wait... there are some awful ones coming up...
good ole nina debrov. i'm kinda surprised she was invited to the emmys and don't get me wrong, love her, but i am surprised because the cw hasn't gotten emmy love since the buffy days. this donna karan does exactly what lea michelle's gown doesn't, see below. i feel it's still a bit old on debrov but with her insane body and her legs that are, seriously, 3 miles long, it's pretty stunning. 
how cute is sarah hyland!?! i sorta love this look. she's rocking a christian siriano gown and i think everything about this is young and hip. i love the color. the shoes. the belt. the bracelet. the loose hair. this look is great. and i adore that she looks like a chic young lady. super cute. 

another elie saab. emily blunt is so freaking stunning. wow. wow. wow. i think she is beyond beautiful annnnnnd she's married to john krasinski which means she has to be awesome, right!?!? this gown is once again sorta boring, but still looks nice and really fits her perfectly.
rashida jones is such a cutie and crazy funny. love her makeup. love her hair. love her earrings. love her bracelets. i love everything BUT her alberta ferretti dress. it's just so cotton candy and doesn't seem to speak to her look or style at all. it also doesn't seem to fit her particularly well. not my favorite on her. 
this marchesa is a monster step in the right direction for elizabeth moss. but while the dress is on trend and very pretty on her, all i can see is that hair... it looks sooooo old. like mad men old. not awesome on the red carpet. it's like she tried to do what christina hendricks rocked with her hair and failed miserably. but yay, she's definitely improving her red carpet style.
oh deb. have i mentioned how much i adore dexter!?!? if you don't watch this show, dude, you are so missing out. jennifer carpenter is beautiful and i actually really love her hair and makeup. i mean her hair is flawless. the dress is beautiful too. buuuut something about it seems a wee bit trashy... maybe it's the boob and the slit up to her lady biz. pick one jenn.
so julianna margulies is beautiful and is usually sooooo well dressed... the queen of simple fashion, narciso rodriguez is her go to designer. this armani prive is so blah and the bodice, um, hello weird. i hate to make a second vampire diaries reference, but homegirl has moonstones glued to her gown. so not loving this. really bad.
 i loooove taraji p henson but sister looks a hot mess in this blumarine gown. um, what the heck coach!? the dress is not flattering... AT ALL. the looseness around her waist is strange and her boobs definitely need some more support... and where's her makeup? is she wearing any? i mean she is stunning and her skin is beyond beautiful, but this just looks like she rolled out of bed. not her best.
love cat. and this monique lhuillier is really pretty. and that's about it. i love her street style and i totally wish she would've brought her boho influence into the styling of this look... it could've been much edgier, instead it's just a pretty dress on a pretty girl.
jayma mays... this is a tough one... i like parts of this zuhair murad gown. the skirt and the bodice are really cute. the color is actually very pretty on her... the sleeve and the sheer on the chest just looks super old lady. sheer can be really young and hip a la stella mccartney, but in this color and with the embroidery all i see is granny. and the lipstick is not my favorite either. she's so sweet... this look isn't.  
i feel like lea michelle is getting a little too big for her britches and honestly i'm not even excited about the new season of glee... it just isn't blowing my skirt up and neither is this middle aged marchesa... this gown was designed for someone at least 10 years older than michelle. i mean her body is bangin' but the gown itself is just super boring. and the hair and makeup are fine but definitely bordering on drag queen... next.
ahhhhhh. claire danes looks angry... that eyeliner is harsh. dude. i can't get passed it... she looks so mad. and the oscar de la renta gown is so harsh and harsh. and on top of that, the shape looks exactly like every other gown she's worn in the past year just with crazy colors and awful eyeliner. this is yucky. i am not pleased.
this gwyneth look really wouldn't bother me if it didn't appear that she had a sheer fabric bulge in her midsection. i mean this pucci dress gives the unbelievably slender gwynie a muffin top... tracy anderson would not be pleased. i'm not pleased. 

another gleek... and i gotta say another pretty terrible gown. this roksanda ilincic gown is not attractive, it makes dianna agron look dumpy across the top... and the middle... and the bottom. now i've seen her in nearly naked in gq. dumpy she is not. her hair and makeup are pretty. and i lalalalove the earrings... she sort of looks like amber heard(love her) they should absolutely play sisters. pretty girl, ugly dress.
holy oh no batman. oh geez. i hate being mean to seemingly lovely people, but jenna aushkowitz what were you thinking!?!? this is just awful. the dress is ghadah paris and it's terrible. it's ancient looking and just ridiculous. the earrings are about the only good thing going on here. the makeup is too much, i mean her cheeks look dirty. it's the the exact way NOT to apply bronzer. and the hair is so 70's and not in the good relevant way...  she should call me. 
holy dear sweet mother of god. this lady is freaking insane. what is this!?!? the dress is very versace circa 2000, it's awful. so very awful. and what is on her face!?!? is that grey lipstick? dear lord. this pisses me off. why does this crazy chick get to wear designer gowns and get to act on award winning shows... she is clearly a mental case... i think she was arrested for public drunkenness or something a few months ago. big surprise. 
pretty girl. really ugly dress. is minka kelly going to a funeral after the emmys? because if so, this dior is perfect. i don't have much more to offer. she is beautiful but nothing about this dress says fresh, pretty, or chic. it's just blah navy lace. but as my husband would say, "at least it covers her cankles." she can do lots better. 
holy moly it's bat shit crazy barbie. heather morris is so cute and has a seriously fabulous body, but come on!!! she's my favorite gleek and probably the only reason i'll try and watch this season. but dude, this look is nuts. the bodice to the waist is about the only good thing worth mentioning. the skirt is just an insane mass of oddly manipulated fabric. the hair looks like a 90's prom and just in case you weren't sure... that's not good. at least her makeup is pretty. hmmm.
amy poehler is a funny lady and when she walked up on stage after they called her name during the nominations, i nearly peed myself i was laughing so hard. but ew, this peter som dress is terrible. is she planning on doing some deep sea diving after the show? honestly, if she were gisele or kate bosworth or any stick figure without boobs then this might work. but her ladies definitely make her look like she has a uni-boob. plus, she looks super broad shouldered... it's just not flattering to her body at all. i would say better luck next time, but i feel like she could care less about fashion. it's almost a joke to her... and looking ridiculous is never funny... well unless i'm making fun of you.
another snl lady with some serious fit issues. kristen wiig can be very funny. i also really like her style... i do not like this zac posen dress. i can't tell if it's an awful dress or a beautiful dress tailored horribly. but since i can't get a close up, i'm gonna go ahead and says this is pretty terrible. the ombre fabric is very unflattering, the dark brown over the boobs makes them appear droopy. it's like they are melting onto her bellybutton... then the dark around her butt makes that appear bigger... boo.

that's all folks. i apologize for this thing being riddled with spelling/grammar mistakes but i'm still jet lagged... technically my bed time was 3 hours ago. haha. pathetic, i know. moving on. i hope you enjoyed the review. who was your favorite!? who was your least favorite? was their anyone that you hated that i loved or vice versa?!?! tell me about it. as long as you know i am right and you are wrong :)

2 comments:

  1. Your red carpet posts always crack me up. :P

    I agree with most of this and not with some of it. I freaking KNOW I have seen Christina Aguilera wear that Gwyneth Paltrow dress to an awards show in 1999. I'm going to be scouring the internet until I find proof. Lol.

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  2. i was a little upset with emmy fashions - gleeks normally do so well and i really didnt like any of their dresses. but Ian is seriously too good looking for words - why do you thing i watch the vampire diaries haah

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